My Name Is Not Meesha

True story.

2012-02-07T20:44:58Z

I had to explain to my boss what a dominatrix was the other day at work. It was... incredibly awkward. "So, uh, y'know, when people have sex and like to tie each other up?" That's what I said.

Welcome to my house.

2009-05-02T17:11:36Z

The Honey Hive. Photocredit: Mike Fitz.

Foyer. Photo credit: Meesha B.

My desk. Photo credit: Meesha B.

Behind my desk. Yarn room 1. Photo credit: Meesha B.

Yarn room 2. Photo credit: Mike Fitz.

A delicious pie. Photo credit: Mike Fitz.

Mom-ism lulz

2009-04-07T18:54:39Z

(02:16:53 PM) Mom: hi
(02:16:55 PM) Mom: how r u
(02:17:05 PM) Meesha: good you?
(02:17:15 PM) Mom: i'm glad you arent dead
(02:17:20 PM) Meesha: lol
(02:17:31 PM) Mom: would have had to answer to the fuzz
(02:17:41 PM) Meesha: haha
(02:17:44 PM) Meesha: funny
(02:22:07 PM) Mom: i kept calling
(02:22:13 PM) Mom: "marissa! marissa!"
(02:22:21 PM) Mom: but then i walked out the door
(02:22:29 PM) Mom: had to get to the doctor
(02:22:29 PM) Meesha: lol
(02:22:31 PM) Mom: lol
(02:22:35 PM) Meesha: i didn't go to sleep until 4
(02:22:44 PM) Mom: "too late now if she's dead, she's dead"
(02:22:50 PM) Mom: ""i got to get"

meesha @ 2008-12-31T21:50:00

2009-01-01T02:52:37Z

New Years is for amateurs.

Mom-ism

2008-12-17T20:57:05Z

(03:48:34 PM) Mom: that sign guy, sam, yesterday had the coolest phone
(03:48:50 PM) Mom: it was a phone that turned into a real digital camera
(03:49:15 PM) Mom: the top part of the phone, like on the razor where we have the display
(03:49:18 PM) Meesha: I talked to sam on the phone a little bit yesterday, i let him bitch to me
(03:49:32 PM) Mom: he turned it around and it turned into a camera!
(03:49:36 PM) Mom: he is so cool
(03:49:44 PM) Mom: i asked him if he had a g/f
(03:49:53 PM) Mom: he lives by somerset
(03:50:06 PM) Meesha: lol
(03:50:12 PM) Mom: when him and i were outside he asked me if i was cold, he would give me his coat
(03:50:24 PM) Meesha: awww.
(03:50:38 PM) Mom: loved him, loved him, loved him
(03:51:12 PM) Mom: anyway - ever see a phone like that? i actually think it was a SAMsung
(03:51:13 PM) Mom: lol
(03:51:18 PM) Mom: a SAM-hung

meesha @ 2008-12-04T02:05:00

2008-12-04T08:02:12Z

I've always been pretty high-strung for as long as I've known myself. Which has been a pretty long time. Twenty-four years actually. Probably longer than I've known anyone else, maybe my mom I think that's different. All I get are people nagging me all day long- about this, about that. Worst of all is me. I probably wouldn't let anyone ever talk to me the way I talk to myself. Its hard to keep up with people when generally I just want to be left alone. This makes me sound like a cranky hermit or Michael Douglas in Falling Down. I really feel like I could use a few days off from work. I think that work is the source of about 70-80% of my stress. I'm going to say the other 20-30% is divided up amongst financial woes, school woes, people I know and other miscellaneous odds and ends.

Tonight I watched Karate Kid: Part II, The Apple and Hedwig And The Angry Inch. Only one of these movies I could watch over again right now. Anyone want to hazard a guess?

meesha @ 2008-11-29T16:52:00

2008-11-29T22:28:43Z

I've watched so many movies over the last week. Its been really great. I've watched: Palindromes, Juno, Live Free or Die Hard, Mallrats, Bee Movie (twice!), The Silence of the Lambs. Twenty-five years old and I've never seen The Silence of the Lambs. Shame on me. What should I watch next Casino Royale or Wanted?

I'm Not There

2008-11-20T15:39:08Z

I watched I'm Not There [imdb] last night. Its got a fantastic, all-star cast. Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Cate Blanchett, Richard Gere, David Cross (Tobias Funke as Allen Ginsberg? Amazing!), Julianne Moore, Charlotte Gainsbourg - who could want for more? How about some rudimentary knowledge of Bob Dylan? I went into this movie knowing absolutely nothing and I came out knowing no more or less than before. Maybe I thought Dylan was a little more of a dick-head than previous thought. The movie is topsy and turvy and I understand what they were trying to do and I appreciate it. In theory. The movie itself is confusing if you don't know the cultural references or haven't followed Dylan's career from the beginning of time.

I will say Christian Bale never ceases to amaze me. His voice! That accent! If this was your first time watching Bale perform you wouldn't have any clue that he is super Welsh. Same goes for Blanchet, who in my opinion, was the only good thing about the movie. She was absolutely amazing. I basically watched her parts and then turned the movie off. The movie was unique, I'll give it that. I could see myself becoming consumed by it, researching every line, looking for references from every interview ever done by Bob Dylan. If I cared. Its too bad I don't.

I will say this though, it really makes me want to listen to more Bob Dylan.

I love being a Pisces.

2008-11-18T20:46:39Z

So...arbitrarily I decided I would start my diet today. I haven't been eating right these last few weeks. I've been putting off grocery shopping, so lots of eating out and snacking. And I just generally feel gross. But once again my horoscope has blown my mind:

If you are considering a change in your daily regimen, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. If you eliminate sugar from your diet or increase your exercise routine because you want to impress someone, your actions will likely not last. Currently, the only sensible reason for change is to do it for your own good health.

Mom-ism.

2008-11-18T20:38:53Z

[15:17] Mom: new delicious snack food - burger king ketchup and fries ... lol ... they are like chips!
[15:18] Meesha: Huh?
[15:19] Mom: they are like square chips but taste like fries and ketchup
[15:19] Meesha: oh sweet!
[15:26] Mom: i was there for 3 hours
[15:31] Meesha: can are you serious?
[15:34] Mom: can i am
[15:34] Meesha: lol
[15:34] Mom: lol

Mom-Isms[10:36]

2008-11-14T17:18:18Z

[10:36] Me: Morgen
[10:42] Mom: morgan
[10:43] Mom: fairchild
[10:43] Me: haha
[10:43] Me: it was sooo warm in bed! (with the puppy)
[10:43] Mom: i have a food hangover
[10:43] Me: Qualudes
[10:58] Mom: lol
[10:58] Mom: Quaaludes
[10:58] Mom: the best part of that word is the 2 "a's" silly

meesha @ 2008-11-10T19:47:00

2008-11-11T00:49:18Z

I have a Terminator question!

How is it that Present Day!John Connor and Future!Derek Reese able to see Present Day!Kyle Reese and Present Day!Derek Reese? And how is it that they are kids?

My head is going to explode!

Blockbuster Online

2008-10-29T16:40:11Z

SO...after much (not really) deliberation, I've decided to renew my subscription to Blockbuster Online. I have a TV in my room and no cable hook up, so I watch a lot of DVDs while I'm hanging out, laying in bed, dorking on my laptop. I've substantially beefed up my queue.

I REALLY want to see The Diving Bell and The Butterfly. I've been fixated on this movie ever since I heard about it last year. It a true life story about the editor of Elle magazine who suffers a stroke and develops locked-in syndrome. Basically the mind is keen, it still function the body however is paralyzed. Its about giving his life purpose again and he wrote this book, painstakingly, letter by letter by blinking at the appropriate time as a nurse read a frequency alphabet.

And on a not so morbid note, I'm pretty excited for I'm Not There, too, that crazy Bob Dylan movie staring Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett amongst others (David Cross! Tobias Funke!) I'm thinking less plot, more art, but all around good times.

There's the list of movies and TV shows I've picked to receive!

Movies:
3:10 to Yuma *
Almost Famous **
American Beauty *
American Splendor
Atonement *
Dead Poets Society
Heaven Help Us
I'm Not There *
Juno *
Lost In Translation *
Persepolis *
The Diving Bell and The Butterfly *
The Graduate *

TV Shows:
Arrested Development [Season 3]
Dead Like Me [Season 2]
Dr. Katz Professional Therapist [Season 2]
Flight of the Conchords
Lost [Season 3]
Paranoia Agent
Scrubs [Season 4 & 5]
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles [Season 1]
The Roast of Flava Flav

* Denotes movies I have not yet seen.
** Denotes movies I have only seen bits and pieces of.

Sassquat.

2008-10-28T19:42:13Z

[15:29] Mom: omg - i have not done sqwuat
[15:30] Mom: how do u spell sqwat
[15:30] Mom: squat
[15:30] Me: Squat.
[15:30] Me: I haven't done squat as well.
[15:30] Mom: sassqwat
[15:30] Me: lol
[15:30] Mom: lol
[15:30] Me: All I did was sign up for Blockbuster online.

meesha @ 2008-10-21T10:32:00

2008-10-21T14:46:59Z

Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST definition it gives you.

1. Your Name: Marissa
Strangely true, but scientifically proven, marissas of the world are 92% hot, bangen and/or extremely fuckable. When seeing such a marissa, you will become sexually aroused and most likely get a full or partial erection..
Note: Similar results as a medusa, except only part of you turns to stone. Look away if a Marissa is near.
“Oh, that’s a Marissa, and yes, you have pitched quite a tent there"

2. Your Age: 24
24, The Jack Bauer Power Hour. The most entertainment you can stuff into a single day. Full of twists, turns, violence, and Elisha Cuthbert.
I had all kinds of work to do, but I decided to watch 24 instead.

3. One Of Your Friends: Jasmine
A beautiful unique girl who is incredibly fun and wise; loud and has a lot of spunk; girls wanna be her, guys wanna have her.
Guy #1: I want a jasmine kinda girl.
Guy #2: I'd go around the world and back to get her.

4. What You Should Be Doing: knitting
Getting shagged ! Getting laid...
I did some knitting last night !

5. Your Favorite Color: purple
Extremely potent marijuana, specifically marijuana buds that have a purple hue to them. Also accompanied by a fragant, usually fruity smell and mad perma-grin.
Yo, you gotta come over and smoke, boy! I got the purple!

6. Your Birthplace: Grosse Pointe
An affluent community which resides next to the wasteland/urban battlefield known as Detroit. "GP" as it is called by some, is a hotbed for money, teenage marijuana smoking, and a prodigious amount of alcohol thanks to expensive fake id's and lots of money.
Hey, Bob's having people over tonight, let's leave the GP bubble, hit up Cognac Castle, and avoid the fleet of cops on the way back.

7. Last Person You Talked To: ~~Mike~~ Fitzgerald
When one is stricken with red hair and a terrible hunger.
I wanted to go out but I looked in the mirror and relised I was Fitzgerald.

8. Last Thing You Had To Drink: coffee
Drug used by hackers and students
I need coffee, i need to r00t.

9. Your Nickname: Meesha
Woman (often Indian) who:

1) is sexy
2) Drinks Monster
3) has a Hindu Worship String outside her bedroom
4) Practices the techniques for giving oral sex to another woman in her room late at night
5) has a gay husband
Man... did you hear about that new chick Monique?... I heard she's a total Meesha!

Open Poll

2008-10-15T13:59:46Z

Tell me what you know about Medusa No cheating - do not look her up, tell me what you learned in school when you were taught mythology. Who is Medusa?

This Weekend

2008-10-14T14:54:50Z

This weekend was Jasmine's 24th birthday party, here are the details in list form:

Friday, October 10th
-Still sick as a dog
-Jasmine comes home all in a tizzy, Jason is freaking out that no one is helping him with the bus
-I calm her down, we make a To Do List to quantify all that needs to be done
-Pick up pizza, head to Jason's pad
-Jason calls, "Please pick up rust treatment and cigarettes", back to the house we head.
-Stop at gas station in skeezy party of town (94+Van Dyke), Jasmine gets her purse stolen, luckily all the important bits were NOT in her handbag
-Finally get to Jason's, eat, have a beer
-Jasmine books our camp grounds in Ohio
-We finally commence working on the bus
-Jason gets the headlights going (yay!) and we clean out the sitting area (yay!)
-Ben stops by, is totally weird and then leaves
-Malayna and Danielle stop by to give us a hand but the majority of the work is done
-Jasmine and I go to Meijers (13+Little Mack) before 2:00am so we can buy supplies (read: by booze before they stop selling)
-$120s later we have everything we need for our camping adventure in Sandusky, Ohio
-We return to the Honey Hive where we meet back up with Mike and later Jason
-I finish packing and then force Mike to do the dishes on the platform it that it would be nice to return to the a (kind of) clean house
-We print the tickets and I make maps
-Finally fall asleep at 5:30am

Saturday, October 11th (Jasmine's Birthday)
-I wake up at 8:30 fully prepared. Malayna, Danielle and Becca have arrived. We're still waiting on Nic.
-Take a shower, feeling pretty good
-We start loading the bus and getting all of hour Ps and Qs in order. I'm really checking things off my list now!
-Nic finally arrives and after some fancy parking in our backyard we're all good to go
-The bus gets loaded up and we begin our voyage.
-A half a block later the bus breaks down and starts smoking, we all abandon ship
-Now, while Jason is a mechanic he had gotten a second opinion about the alternator "Do you think those belts will be a problem? They're not going to melt and over heat the alternator?" (Or something like that - I don't remember specifically) But yeah. That's exactly what happened
-We could at least get it back to our house where we unloaded and reloaded our cars.
-Thankfully it happened a block away and not an hour away and I'm certainly thankful we didn't take that death bus to Ohio, we surely would have all been thrown into the clink.
-This throws a wrench into our plan though since we have no bus there won't be camping, hotel plans are quickly forged
-After a pretty quick road trip we get to Ohio, check into our hotel and relax for a minute. Beers are cracked and champagne is popped
-Get back into the car and begin our 20 minute journey up the most boring, traffic congested road in -I'm sure- all of Ohio
-Becca's car was following ours when she got pulled over and searched
-We sneakily turn around and pull into a Pet Supplies "Plus", we have front row seats to watching our friends get fucked by the Eerie County Sheriff's Department
-They're separated and thrown into the back of two squad cars
-We (Me, Jasmine, Jason and Mike) are all freaking out - what if they all get arrested? How much would that bail be? And their car! It'd get impounded!
-Thankfully they let them all go...all go except Danielle who had a bowl in her purse
-Bail is expensive, but it was manageable between the seven of us
-This vacation is doomed
-After 3 hours and $260 later we get Danielle out of jail and FINALLY get to Cedar Point (America's Roller Coast) at a little after 5:00pm.
-We don't end up leaving Cedar Point until well after midnight, we return to our hotel giddy and loopy and smiley and continue to drink and talk until the wee hours of the morning

Roller Coasters:
-The Raptor
-We would have ridden the Coal Mine ride except it broke down just as we got to the front of the line
-The Gemini
-The Corkscrew
-Disaster Transport
-I refused to go on the Magnum and the Millennium Force though. I don't like big drops, I much prefer twists and loopty-loops and that sort of thing.

General thoughts:
-I think I did pretty alright considering I really don't like roller coasters. I just kept reciting the Litany of Fear in my head, this entire weekend
-I never knew my body could hurt in so many different places
-Ohio is a horrible, horrible place - don't go there if you have no reason to
-A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying...'Damn, that was fun!'

meesha @ 2008-10-03T11:15:00

2008-10-03T15:16:01Z

Life has been throwing me some crazy curve balls as of late. I need to get back to basics and I need to steal away with my laptop and not come back for days and days.

I've been reading more:

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs - Chuck Klosterman
Choke - Chuck Palahniuk
Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas - Chuck Klosterman
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
Blink - Malcolm Gladwell

I need to find a good book about feminist theory. I've read Female Chauvinist Pigs. Its okay...interesting, but just an okay read. Too many bulleted statistics and not enough anecdotes? I don't know.

Damnit, I forgot the last time I was at the bookstore to pick up a copy of A Handmaid's Tale. I wonder if I still have a copy of it at my parents house. Hm. It'd be worth another read. Does anyone have a good book -that isn't Twilight- to recommend to me?

And by the by, I need to role play. I've just been uber-lazy. I'm still thinking on Xcetera, but I've lost the drive. I still get cravings though to play Alison and Cessily. And...waaa waaa waaa! I don't want to join a new game, or make one, I wish Xtended was still going - isn't that sad of me? And Xtended (circa: when I first joined) those were good times. I need to write a plan for a game - I can't do it, do it, do it. I'm just, like a I've already said: uber-lazy.

By the by, fuck Joe Louis Arena - I don't want to work there tonight.

I want to go home right now and sleep

2008-10-01T14:39:07Z

I'm so unbelievably tired I can't handle it. Since Friday night, every night has been jam packed and my body is ready to give. Well I think it already did, considering I had to be dragged out of bed at 10:00 to go to the bar. I know it was my idea! But I was sleeping! And I was having a good dream about a really nice hot shower! Then I hear "Meeeeeesha," all quiet and sweet. It was for a good cause (kind of.) Let me explain - my friend Jasmine's friend Angie has had a rough go of things. She works with Jasmine so she's been laid off from her job just as much, her boyfriend (Jeff) bar tends in a bar on Tuesday nights, when in the past Tuesday they've been closed. So, its really just to support Jeff and get people in the bar and la la la. Ultimately I'm glad I left.

However, it wasn't the bar that done me in, its the fact that I stayed up and watched High Fidelity last night once we got home.

Let me take you back to yesterday. -What's up with this non-linear story telling I have going on right now?- All I wanted to do was nap, sleep hardcore. I forwent napping because I had to be up ridiculously early to take Jasmine to work, her car is busted, and get myself to work on time. I won't nap and I will go to bed early and it will be awesome. Yeah...no. I just then proceed to stay up until 5:00a.m. shooting the shit with Jasmine(bff/roommate), Mike(roomie), Jason(upstairs neighbor) and Ben (former upstairs neighbor, brother of Jason). Jason is moving out by the way. If you haven't checked your calendar its the first, he needs to be gone, so we've been spending a lot of quality time with him. Jasmine and I have really forged a relationship with him this summer, it will be sad to see him go. I'm digressing. Point of the matter, I didn't sleep Monday or Tuesday.

Another point is, High Fidelity is really, really great. As I was watching it, I was doing a little thinking. Rob is not all that likable of a character. Sure the movie is a comedy and sure Rob is our hero, but...not really. He gets his girlfriend knocked up, tells her he cheated on her, she hasn't said anything at this point and then quietly terminates the baby. Oh, yeah, and not before borrowing $4,000 from her. Not to mention all of this emotional outbursts and just general crappy outlook on things.

I love the opening of the movie. The first things out of John Cusack's mouth are: "What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

Gar (bombidol/my Irish boyfriend) is opening up record store in Temple Bar, Dublin, Ireland and I hope its exactly like High Fidelity. Exactly...minus the pregnancy and money borrowing. But I just want to debate music and be surrounded by it. And I really want a record collection comparable to John Cusack's organized in an autobiographical fashion. I wish I could pack up and go there and help him and work in the store and be surrounded kinds of music.

That's all I want.

I think the eyes say it all

2008-09-30T16:12:16Z

Horoscopes

2008-09-24T16:56:26Z

Sometimes they are just uncanny and really, really accurate. I generally like to read them the day afterwards and then make comparisons so I'm not affected by what it is that they say.

So here goes for yesterday:

Pisces:
You might surprise yourself today as you initiate a discussion about a topic that you normally avoid like the plague. Perhaps you are eager to start up a political discussion or one about the relationship between the state and religion. If the conversation escalates, don't withdraw just because you suddenly get cold feet.

And its true! I did exactly that! You all, obviously, are not privy to what was discussed, but I did sit a fair few (two) people down and had a pretty serious discussion with them yesterday.

This is me being astounded!

The Mystery Face Game!

2008-09-24T16:16:59Z

This is pretty genius. gen_kun and I decided to play Guess Who the other night, but instead of asking things that described the person's appearance (IE: does he have blue eyes?) we asked our own questions.

1.) Does your character look like they just killed a person?
2.) Could your character be in drag*?
3.) Does your character beat their spouse?
4.) Is your character smarmy or smug**?
5.) Is your character evil incarnate?
6.) Is your character an Irish drunk?

I only make mention of this because I actually won. Based on these questions alone I actually guessed who.

Who oh who could we be describing? It was George. If you can see, George, second from the top on the left. With the green hat. I pegged him.

*(For me, that question eliminated all of the women.)

**(He'd punch you in the face and not stab you in the back.)

I'm sacrificing my diet for my hangover...

2008-09-24T15:08:35Z

Mom's give such good advice.

[10:36] Meesha:: I'm eating toast right now.
[10:39] Meesha:: tell me I'm not bad.
[10:41] Mom: r u at work?
[10:44] Meesha:: Yeah I'm at work.
[10:44] Mom: where do u get toast at?
[10:44] Meesha:: at work
[10:44] Meesha:: we have a fridge here
[10:44] Mom: u have a toaster there?
[10:44] Meesha:: yup
[10:44] Mom: lol
[10:45] Meesha:: i threw up yesterday
[10:45] Mom: well ... is it whole grain bread?
[10:45] Meesha:: Its rye
[10:45] Meesha:: w/o seeds
[10:45] Mom: thats better than white
[10:45] Mom: why did u throw up?
[10:46] Meesha:: Drunk.
[10:46] Mom: whew
[10:46] Mom: better d than p
[10:46] Meesha:: JK
[10:46] Meesha:: I'm pregnant.
[10:47] Mom: well its about time
[10:47] Mom: i dont want them when i'm 80
[10:48] Meesha:: psh
[10:49] Mom: who's the father? It better be God
[10:52] Meesha:: yes.
[10:52] Meesha:: immaculate conception
[10:54] Mom: i guess if u were drunk then toast is in order

Like...lamest Emmys evar!

2008-09-22T15:29:22Z

I think this article sums it up nicely.

Before we get into my thoughts on the matter, I'd just like to preface this by saying I generally wouldn't watch an award show on my own accord. However, my mother does watch them and since I was spending the day at her house - eating her food - I guess I'd relinquish control of the television. She doesn't ask for much, so when there's a televised red carpet she's all over it.

Okay - yesterday was the 60th Anniversary of the Emmys! I find the Emmys more tolerable than the Oscars or the Globes because I really do love T.V. I love gags and catch phrases and theme songs and the personalities. And there's nothing greater than a good T.V. moment - something that makes you stop, something that almost gives you chills. I'll give you an example. For me its the last episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Mary says goodbye to her fellow coworkers, after which Lou Grant tells everyone that he treasures them. The episode ends with everyone exiting the newsroom and singing "It's a Long Way to Tipperary" to the applause of the studio audience. Upon leaving, Mary turns off the lights..

The Emmys should be a celebration of all that I love. However, they just seemed lackluster. The jokes were crummy and the tribute to Laugh-In was perfunctory in my opinion. No one got it, which really is a shame. And woopity doo! Oh thank God they finally added a category for best reality TV show host! Finally their talent is recognized! Jeff Probst of Survivor won, by the way. He beat out Tom Bergeron (Dancing With The Stars), Heidi Klum (Project Runway), Howie Mandel (Deal or No Deal) and Ryan Seacrest (American Idol.) Psh.

The night was peppered with awkward silence and poorly rehashed tributes to classic T.V. I think the highlight for me was Josh Groban singing a T.V. theme song medley. It was a travesty.

The only redeeming factors were a Stewart/Colbert sweep of Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy program and Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Program. And my latest obsession (Mad Men) winning the top honor of Best Drama! Good for them! Two seasons in a row AND a basic cable television program. Kudos to you AMC.

Interested in who else won? He's a quick run down from last night.

Sock it to me!

meesha @ 2008-09-18T09:54:00

2008-09-18T14:27:17Z

So...I've been tossing around the idea of writing more in my LJ, only every time I sit down to do so I go blank. Or I feel what I'm trying to convey simply can't be expressed with words alone. I'm trying to avoid the "I did this, I did that, blah blah blah" run down of what I do in the day-to-day. Y'know, dig down past the surface a little bit, get at what's really going on. I think I'm just going to start posting pictures, if its true what they say a picture is worth a thousand words. But I suppose the former is a necessary evil.

Its ironic that the day I want to start blogging is the day after my computer died.

Anyways, I've been on an emotional roller coaster and I'm ready to disembark. Seriously, I've had enough of my wacky emotions. Its especially troubling since I never was overly emotional and now if someone even looks at me the wrong way I could burst into tears. I feel unstable. I feel certifiable. I think I'm just being tired of being pushed around and having to explain myself at every turn. I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do. And I wish people would just leave me alone.

There's all sorts of nonsense in my house all the time. People don't get that there doesn't need to be as much hanging out and drinking as there is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all in our twenties and blah, blah, blah, but I don't need to be getting drunk on a Monday night. I've just been trying to avoid everyone and lay low. Just doing my own thing. I've been going to my parent's pretty regularly to use their treadmill. And when I'm at home I've been working on my blanket (its getting down slowly but surely!) and reading.

By the by, I'm reading The Alchemist. It was recommended to me a long time ago - I started it and never finished it. Its okay, its kind of, hm, I'm not sure how to put it. Its not my thing, that's for sure. Its too self-motivational, if that makes any sense. "Follow your dreams, listen to your heart, etc..etc..etc"

I think I'm going to read Choke next.